Marriage and babies....

Ben and I celebrated our five year anniversary this past Friday (July 29, 2011).

I am a planner. I like to set goals. I have short term goals and long term goals.

When I was little, I knew exactly what I wanted to be "when I grew up" and I knew exactly what I needed to do to get there. So, I did what I need to do to achieve my goals.

So, naturally, when I got married, I suggested to my husband that we set some goals...that we plan ahead. I KNOW that not everything can be PLANNED! However, I wanted to do the best that I could to plan things out and work towards some goals.

I always knew I wanted to have a baby. But, having a baby was a long term goal and I had several short term goals in the interim that I needed to focus on. The first thing I needed to do was graduate from law school...which I did in May, 2007. I also wanted to get settled in my career- I have been practicing 4 years this upcoming October. I also wanted to build/buy a house-- we finished building last March, 2010. The other thing I wanted to do was REALLY focus on my marriage. I wanted Ben and I to enjoy eachother and build our relationship before we added someone else to the mix. I am so thankful that we made the decision to wait before having our first child. Here is why.....

Having a baby changes everything. We are so blessed and thankful for little Julia. However, our marriage has really taken the back seat. She demands our attention 100% of the time and we give it to her. This just means we do not always give eachother the attention that we should. This is where building a marriage before having a baby becomes so crucial. With the lack of sleep and your attention focused solely on the little one, you can sometimes forget about your spouse. Not the mention the hormones! The focus is just more on your new baby and less about your marriage. I am so thankful that Ben was so supportive and understanding. I think the effort we put into building a strong marriage really paid off when we had our baby. I always knew we would be ok no matter how stressful things got. Also, I was comfortable and secure in our marriage--- things I think take time to build.

After starting this new adventure-- having a baby and all- I strongly believe that couples should spend some time building a strong marriage BEFORE they have a baby. Ofcourse, this is just my opinion based on my experience. I think we made the right decision.